"I Okay!"--Introducing Alex

It is hard to tell Alex’s story without feeling a deep sense of trauma and loss.  Originally from Ukraine, Alex is our third child, and came to us when he was almost eight years old.  He lived with his birthmother until he was three, along with his older sister and two older brothers.  In 2007, they were removed from their home due to neglect, and placed in a nearby orphanage.  Initially, Alex was separated from his sister and brothers, but eventually was moved to the same orphanage and reunited with them.  His brothers were significantly older than him, and they both aged out of the orphanage when Alex was still fairly young.  In 2011, Alex and his sister were adopted by an American family, and moved to the United States.  Before arriving in Ukraine to get Alex and his sister, the family had not been told that Alex had any special needs.  So they were completely unprepared to care for this child that would later be diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy, albeit very mild.   Nine months after their adoption, they felt that they could no longer parent Alex, and contacted an adoption agency seeking immediate respite care.  The director of the agency called us about Alex on a Saturday morning, asking if we could take him in for respite until they found a permanent placement.  We picked him up the very next day.  His sister did not even know he was leaving.   Alex was so incredibly scared and confused.  He had no idea what had just happened, or why he was being taken away from his family.  He screamed these deep, guttural cries of agony the entire drive home.  The only words that he could get out amidst the screams were that he wanted his dad.  Believe it or not, it has taken us six years to come to the understanding that we were the enemy in that little boy’s eyes.  He had not been prepared for what was coming, and to him, we were strangers who had just taken him from his family, and wouldn’t let him go back.  Since the moment he got in our car that day, we have lived in perpetual survival mode, rarely able to lift our heads for air and see things clearly.  Perhaps that is why it took us six long years to understand that, and to see how that experience has impacted our ability to bond.  

Like so many adoptive families, we went into that day—“Gotcha Day”—with an understanding that it would be hard for him, yes, but we thought that it would all be ok because we were bringing him out of a bad situation, and into our loving family.  We were so very naïve, and it has taken a lot of hard, hard struggles for us to come to a full understanding of the situation.  As we move towards another “Gotcha Day” with Rose, our hearts are already torn to shreds thinking about the trauma she will experience as we take her away from all that is familiar to her.   Whether good or bad, healthy or not, her life in the orphanage is all she has ever known, and we will be taking her away from it.  It’s a hard reality that these children have to go through so much loss in order to attain life in a loving family.  That, however, is just one more way in which worldly adoption mirrors our spiritual adoption as sons and daughters of our Father.  We must die to ourselves, to receive life in Christ.  And that, my friends, is hard.  But I digress.  Back to our Alex. 😊    

Once Alex settled in a bit, the transition went very smoothly.  Within the first week God revealed to us that Alex was not here only for respite care, but forever.  He was meant to be in our family, and had gone down some very hard roads to get here.  He and Jadon and Addison seemed to hit it off very quickly, and none of us could imagine life with out him in our family.  It appeared to us that his Cerebral Palsy affected mostly his speech, not so much his physical or cognitive development.  We would come to find out that was not entirely true, but at that time he seemed pretty typical.  He had just learned how to ride a bike when he came here, but was still a bit wobbly.  I will never forget the first time he fell off his bike, and I ran over to him to scoop him up and console him.  But before I could reach him, he popped up, raised his hand, and in his little accented voice proclaimed “I okay!”  Those two words will forever hold a special place in my heart.

Alex has been through so much in his short life.  He has experienced more loss, rejection, and abandonment than any of us could possibly imagine.  He has been knocked down time and time again.  But every time he’s knocked down, he eventually pops back up and says “I okay!”  He is the most resilient person I have ever met.  All of the trauma has not left him unscathed.  He is deeply, deeply wounded.  The trauma of being separated from his sister has been the most profound loss of them all.  I cannot say much about that situation here, but suffice it to say, they have both suffered greatly from their separation.  Although, as the director of the adoption agency said to me, as I questioned the fact that the parents were keeping his sister and separating them, "God is sovereign over all."  Even over situations that seem so completely unjustifiable to us as humans.  He is sovereign, and He knows what each of us needs.  By being separated, his sister was able to experience life as kid instead of the primary caretaker, the stand-in mother of her younger brother.  And Alex has been able to experience life with a real mother, who is supposed to be the one to care for his every need.  God knew what each of them needed, even with the pain they would have to endure to receive it.  These past six years have been hard in ways we never knew possible.  He is just now, at the age of 14, beginning to have an understanding of his own story.  As his language has developed over that past six years, so has his ability to understand and communicate the pain he experiences on a daily basis.  He has physical and emotional scars that may never completely heal.  With each passing year, we learn more and more about how deep those wounds run.  But through it all, Alex keeps that attitude of “I okay.”

As he has gotten older, we have seen more of the impact of his Cerebral Palsy.  The disparity between him and his peers is growing as he gets older.  We are daily realizing that things we thought he understood, are in reality a total mystery to him.  His memory is extremely disjointed.  His physical and cognitive abilities change from one day to the next, which has been really, really confusing for us as his parents, and for him.  He has dealt with all of his life’s struggles by accepting, and in fact embracing, the idea that he has no control over any part of his life—not even his own behaviors, thoughts, words, choices, or actions.  We are working on teaching him that he does indeed have control over his own choices, and in turn, he has control over what direction he chooses to take his life.  That sense of self-control was stripped from him at a very early age.  But we hope and pray that as he continues to mature, he will gain that sense of autonomy.

Alex’s birth name was Bogdan, Ukrainian for “Gift from God”.  Through all the trials we have walked through with him, Alex has undoubtedly been a gift from God.  He has taught us more about ourselves, our relationship with our Heavenly Father, our own depravity, and what God did in order to make us His sons and daughters.  That is but one more facet of worldly adoption that mirrors spiritual adoption.  Just as we have to die to ourselves to receive Life, Christ had to die to Himself so that we might be adopted as sons and daughters through Him.  The reality of parenting Alex has meant dying to ourselves on a daily basis, in order for him to have life as our son.  That is true of all parents—denying our own wants and needs to meet those of our children is just part of it.  But when it comes to parenting a child from a hard place, especially a child that comes into your family at an older age, it involves dying to parts of yourselves that you didn’t even know existed.  The beauty is that doing so has brought us closer to our Father, closer to each other, and ultimately closer to Alex.  Quite honestly, the last three months have been some of the hardest.  But after each crisis, we have reached a new level of healing and connection. 

His English name, Alexander, means “defender of men.”  In totally unexpected and inexplicable ways, Alex has been our defender.     Alex has taught us how to be okay, even when things around us aren’t okay at all.  We pray that Alex will continue to heal in the love of not only our family, but in the Love of His Father in Heaven.  Alex is patient, resilient, extremely selfless, and finds his greatest joy in helping others.  He is the best big brother to Luke and Noah that I could ever ask for.  Those are qualities that could only have come from and could only have been preserved by God.  We know that God has great plans for Alex’s life.  We are completely undeserving of the honor of being the ones who get to see his life unfold.  It’s not easy, but by God’s abundant grace, we can most assuredly say, “We okay!”

With much love,
Ashley

       

           

    

Disclaimer:

These blog posts are written amongst the beautiful chaos that is our family, and so I want to apologize in advance for any typos or grammatical errors that I most assuredly will make!  Sometimes I catch them pretty quickly and edit them out, other times I never find them at all.  Please forgive these mistakes, and just imagine that as I was typing somebody had a crazy, end-of-the-world-crisis moment that must be tended to immediately or else they would surely melt into a big giant puddle!😆

Introducing Addison

Our sweet Addison is a pure ray of sunshine!  She has spent the last ten years being the only girl, and is SO excited to be welcoming a little sister.  She is a natural caretaker and nurturer, and is extremely attuned to other people’s needs.  Everyone in our family affectionately calls her "Little Mama" because she has such a natural mothering instinct.  I cannot possibly count the number of times I have told her brothers that they have the absolute best sister in the whole world.  As loving and kind as she is, she is also strong and independent, and doesn’t put up with much nonsense (but then again, there isn’t much choice when you have four brothers!)  She is self-motivated, and is perhaps the easiest child in the world to home school.  She strives for excellence in everything she does, and definitely keeps everyone else in line!

Addison loves to bake.  In fact, she loves it so much that she earned the nickname Muffin when she was only three years old. 😊

Addison is immensely and deeply passionate about horses.  When thinking about what to write for her introduction, I honestly could have written just one word—HORSES.  Not only does she love riding and caring for horses, she is learning how to train them as well.  She has a natural way about her, and has been able to earn the trust of even the most difficult horses.  We often stand in awe as we watch her work with them.  For her tenth birthday, we gave her a horse named Spirit.  They quickly became an inseparable team, and developed a deeply connected bond.  Her courage, compassion, and commitment are nothing short of truly inspirational.

More than anything else I could say about Addison, it is that she has a pure love of God, and trusts Him with an unwavering faith.  We pray that she holds on to that child-like, innocent faith as she walks through the rest of her life.  We pray that the strength, courage, and compassion that He knit into her being will bring glory to God as she grows into an amazing young woman.  We are blessed to be her Momma and Daddy, and we can’t wait to see what God has in store for her.

With much love,

Ashley

Introducing Jadon

Jadon is our firstborn, the one who made us a momma and daddy for the first time twelve years ago.  His name tells of where his story begins—Jadon comes from a Hebrew word meaning “God has heard”, and is mentioned in the Bible as one who helped Nehemiah rebuild the wall of Jerusalem. (Nehemiah 3:7)  Our Jadon was born after an early struggle with infertility and miscarriage.  When we found out that we were expecting him, we knew that God had heard our prayers for a child, and had granted us our first little arrow.  Just as the Jadon who helped repair the broken wall of Jerusalem, our Jadon has been hard at work repairing things since the very day he was born.  

Hours after his birth, I began dangerously hemorrhaging as I was being moved from the labor and delivery room, into a postpartum room.  I can remember being wheeled down the hallway, beginning to lose consciousness, and desperately asking God to save my life so that I could live to be Jadon’s momma.  In the postpartum room, I was still drifting in and out of consciousness, as the doctors pumped me full of blood transfusions and violently compressed my abdomen to stop the bleeding.  I was slipping away quickly.  I can remember watching all of the commotion around the room, and not being able to do anything to stop it.  I heard a nurse instruct David on how to feed Jadon a bottle of formula, because he needed nourishment fast and I couldn’t nurse him.  I can remember hearing that my mother and her husband had been called back to the hospital because things didn’t look good.  I can remember the nurses trying to talk to me, but I couldn’t answer.  And then I remember a nurse bringing Jadon, all wrapped up in his little swaddle, and laying him next to my face.  When I felt his little cheek against mine, a tear fell from my left eye, and I came back.  God used Jadon, my tiny baby boy, to repair the broken walls inside my body that needed to stop hemorrhaging.  

From that day on, the wheels inside Jadon’s mind have never stopped turning.  He is constantly devising ways to fix things that are broken (and quite often it’s things that need to be repaired because he broke them to begin with! 😊), make things out of whatever material is available to him at that moment (like duct tape and cardboard), and create new ways of doing things (even when that perfectly good wheel doesn’t need to be reinvented).  He is a leader and an innovator.  He takes charge to get the job done.  He is intelligent and creative.  He is sensitive to his surroundings, and a mirror of all that is going on around him.  Whenever something is off with Jadon, it’s our first red flag that we need to look at our own behaviors and attitudes, and at our own spiritual environment.  So often he is simply mirroring what is going on around him.

Two of his recent building projects have been a picnic table large enough to accommodate our growing family, and a wooden hammock stand for his dad for Father’s Day.

As much and he loves building and creating, Jadon’s greatest passion right now is fishing.  I have always wondered how guys end up being avid fishermen, spending every spare moment on a boat with their fishing rods.  It just never made sense to me for some reason.  But now I get it.  The patient pursuit, the hard-fought catch, the prize for all your efforts.  He loves it.  His favorite place to be is down by our pond, devising ways catch the fish, researching baits and rods and reels and fishing techniques.  He has recently started tying flies, and has created some beautiful fly fishing flies.

     

Our greatest prayer for Jadon is that God would shape his character into a selfless leader, a humble creator, a modest innovator—so that he may use his strengths with the understanding that he is a helper to our Heavenly Leader, the Creator of Heaven and Earth, the Innovator of all that exists.  That he would grow to be a strong man of God, with a humble heart to lead others in the way of the Lord, a fisherman of men, a builder for the new Jerusalem.

With much love,

Ashley 

LID and Introductions

We are officially LID (our dossier paperwork has officially been logged in with China, and we are now just waiting for our Letter of Approval)!  This stage in the adoption process is all about waiting.  We have completed all of our paperwork, paper chasing, training, etc. We have done everything that we can do, as fast as we could do it, to get to Rose.  It’s completely out of our hands now, and we must trust that God will move the next stage of the process along in His perfect timing.  We are told that it can take two months or more to receive the LOA (letter of approval).  In our human hearts, with our limited perspective, we are desperately hoping that the CCCWA will move our file quickly.  But we know that God sees so much more than we do, and with His limitless site, He will accomplish His purposes in His timing. 

While we wait, we would like to take this opportunity to introduce ourselves to those of you who do not know us, and catch up with those of you who do.  Because once we leave for China, these blog posts will be all about Rosey!!  So here goes…

Up first—David and Ashley

Some of you know us as Matt Hadsell and Ashley Eaton.  David’s full name is David Matthew Hadsell, but he grew up going by Matt to most of his family and friends.  When we got married, we were both still in college (crazy, we know!!) and he was still going by Matt.  But once we graduated from college, and entered the real world, much confusion arose as he entered the workforce going by a name that did not match the name on all legal documents. (He worked in the mortgage and banking industry, where there was an unending flow of legal documents for him to sign.)    So, over the years he has transitioned to his legal name, and primarily goes by David.  All of that is to say, he’s still the same guy.  If you knew him as Matt, he will happily answer to Matt.  If you know him as David, he happily answers to David. 😊

We have been married for almost 16 years, and have five children.  For the first seven years of our marriage, we lived in Austin, where we had our first two children, Jadon and Addison.  In 2009 we moved from Austin to Brenham, to live on the farm with Ashley’s family.  For the first couple of years after we moved, we farmed full time and learned all that we could about sustainable living.  It was during those early years on the farm that our eyes were opened to the world of special needs adoption.  While adoption had always been on our hearts, we came to the understanding that God was calling us specifically to special needs children.  After our first two kids were born, we were told by doctors that Ashley would likely never be able to have more children.  Though difficult words to receive, we already knew that we had been lead to adopt, and were waiting for God to lead us in the right direction.  We prayed over many children that were listed on adoption advocacy sites, like Reece’s Rainbow, but we were never given the green light to move forward with their adoptions.  In April of 2012, as we were starting a new business and diving deep into the world of home schooling, we got a call about a little boy with Cerebral Palsy, who had been adopted from Ukraine with his older sister, and was now in need of immediate respite care.  His first adoptive family no longer felt they could parent him, and were seeking immediate dissolution of his adoption.  That very next day, we picked up Alex.  Though we initially thought it was just for respite care, it quickly became clear to all of us that he was meant for our family, and within three months we officially adopted him as our third child.  We will share more of Alex’s adoption story when we do his introduction, as well as more about what life has been like in the six years he has been in our family.

Less than a year after adopting Alex—and walking through some of the hardest times in our relationship, some of the most desperate struggles financially, and a very difficult transition with Alex—God spoke to us of a daughter, and her name was to be Rose.  Shortly thereafter we found out that we were pregnant, quite by surprise, and somewhat miraculously given Ashley’s medical history.  Though we had no idea how we would manage our rapidly growing family, we were overjoyed to be expecting another little one.  Of course, we thought for sure that this baby was the daughter God had shown us.  We were so sure that we immediately called her our little rosebud, bought little pink shoes with roses on them, and were busy gathering little girl nursery items.  It was quite a shock when we went for our gender reveal ultrasound, and the doctor said that we were unequivocally having a boy!  It took a little time for the shock to wear off, and for us to shift our focus to welcoming our sweet Noah.  But what an incredible blessing he has been!  More on Noah’s story during his intro.

Shortly after Noah was born, we had to close the doors of our fledgling business, and David started working for Mill Creek Custom Homes.  Though we were absolutely devastated at the time, we have been immeasurably blessed by his job at Mill Creek.  It came in the most God-ordained way, has taught both of us more than we ever imagined, and has allowed David to do something that he truly loves.  It is so true, that when God closes one door, we must praise Him in the hallway, trusting that He will open an even better door. 

When Noah was only eight months old, we found out that we were once again expecting, and were completely and totally taken by surprise.  (No, we don’t know how this happens, of course! 😊)  After recovering from the shock, picking our jaws up off the floor, and accepting the reality that our life was about to get CRAZY, we of course began wondering if this little one would be Rose.  We planned a balloon gender reveal, thinking that when the box opened, pink balloons would for sure pop out.  After seeing lots of blue balloons spring out of the box, we welcomed our little Luke in December of 2014.  He has rocked our world from day one, and we are excited to tell you more about him during his intro.  

  

We went from being a family of four to a family of seven in two and a half years.  It’s been an amazing and crazy and beautiful and exhausting and thrilling and wild ride!!  But we wouldn’t trade a single second of it for anything.  We have learned that in a large family, no one is ever lonely; there is always someone to listen or talk to; there is always someone to play with; there are so many people who love and care about you; we make a great team; grocery bills are HUGE; we don’t go anywhere without making ripples; not a day goes by without laughter and silliness; gray hairs grow quickly, and hairlines recede even quicker; kids are LOUD, quiet is rare, and joy grows in great abundance!

Ashley home schools four of our five children.  She home schooled Alex for the first year that he was with us, but quickly realized that he would thrive much more in a typical school setting, benefiting from language immersion and various therapies.  He started school in Brenham in second grade, and is now preparing to enter seventh grade!  He has made great strides in his language capacities, has learned to read and write, and is doing incredibly well in his life skills class.

While God has definitely called us to both adoption and training up His children in His ways, we have also been called to another kind of ministry.  We are in the process of developing an equine therapy program here at the farm, where kids, parents, families, couples, and individuals can come and experience relationship with horses.  We have been shown how the relationship between horses and humans directly mirrors the relationship between man and God.  By learning about horsemanship, and building relationships with horses, our brains and hearts are physically and spiritually enabled to form deeper relationships with our loved ones, and with God.  It can open the door to healing from past trauma and relational wounds, allowing us to connect with others in a healthier way.  In addition, the physically therapeutic effects of horsemanship are profound for both physically and mentally disabled individuals—improving core strength and balance, cross-body neurological connections, opening verbal pathways in the brain, etc.  We are in the very infant stages of developing this program, and have been shown that we must move one step at time with great patience.  In the meantime, our family is blessed to have our horses here on the farm, with us being the first clients of our Heart’s Haven Equine Ministry!

So that is what we have been up to in recent years.  Our hearts and hands have been full with our growing family, our work, and our horses (seriously, who knew kids and horses were so high maintenance?! 😊)

Up next in our introductions/updates will be our firstborn, Jadon.

With much love,
The Hadsell Family

      

"To the Person About to Adopt a Child With Down Syndrome"

This morning, we read a letter written by an adoptive mother about her son with Down Syndrome.  Her words speak of the truth that lives within our hearts better than we could ever express ourselves.  In addition to copying her letter below, we will include a link to the website where it was originally posted.  We hope you will take to the time to read this beautiful testimony of the gift that is Down Syndrome, you will be blessed!

"To the Person About to Adopt a Child With Down Syndrome"

"Dear Parent-to-be,

Welcome to the first day of the best of your life.

There are so many things I want to tell you, I’m bursting. I’m so happy for you that I’m not sure where to begin.

Perhaps I should start with the words the social worker said the moment she placed my son, Charley, in my arms 25 years ago. He was 2 months old then. “Get ready for more love than you will know what to do with,” she said.

I didn’t know it then, but she was right. There are no words to describe this kind of love.

How can you verbalize the magic of those eyes that look so deep into your soul, even you never knew how deeply you existed? It will happen, and you, my friend, will open up like you never have before. Life won’t look the same as it did before.

Your life is about to change. Every parent is forced to change routines, priorities and all the things that go with them. But there’s so much more because the change you’re about to experience is a change in you. A reinventing so profound you may not even see it for years to come, and here’s the wonder of it — it’s coming from the one source who wouldn’t change you for the world.

Although there have been great strides made in awareness of Down syndrome, you may be shocked by the insensitive remarks of others. Or, as one woman said about our Charley, “He’s damaged.” There will even be uninformed comments such as, “Is he still Downs?”

I don’t know how many times I’ve sat in a doctor’s office, only to have some parent shield their child from mine, as if his Down syndrome is contagious. You may see fear on their faces and pity in their eyes. And you will shake your fist at their ignorance. Then, just as angry as you feel, you will find yourself feeling sorry for them. Pity those who don’t know the unbridled heart of Down syndrome; they could use a dose of what you live with every day. Believe me, most people are curious and wouldn’t hurt you or your child for the world.

My husband and I are acutely aware of the gift we’ve been given. Each time we’re knocked down by this thing called life, all we have to do is look at Charley’s face. We see God there. His affirmation. His endless hugs that wrap around us like a warming blanket. His smile that says, “You are still OK with me.” His words that say, “I love you much.”

So often I feel unworthy of him. I believe Charley is exactly who he’s supposed to be — a person who calls those around him to open their hearts. To accept others just as they are. I believe that when God bestows that extra chromosome, it’s His way of saying, “You only think you know what matters.”

People often say we must have incredible patience to have chosen a “child like that,” but they would be wrong. It’s our son who has taught us patience. He had to be patient with us while we learned what it meant to be his parents.

You may have to defend your decision to adopt. I don’t know how many people tried to talk us out of it, but there were several. We’ve heard it all. “Are you sure you know what you’re doing?” “It’s still not too late to change your mind.” “Why would you put yourself in that position?” “It’s a lifetime commitment, you know.”

I won’t lie to you, it’s not an easy journey. It’s not for everybody. It’s a life that demands all of you, 100 percent. You will be tested, sometimes daily. Some days you will know a lot. Other days, you will wonder if you know anything at all. And just like any other parent, there will be those moments when you will want to pull your hair out. But then, just when you need it the most, there will be that hug around your neck, and that sticky kiss on your cheek that will pull you back from the edge. Those are the moments when your child’s eyes will melt you like butter, and you’ll wonder how you ever lived without him (or her), or if you ever could.

The good news is that much has changed for parents of people with Down syndrome since we adopted Charley. There are systems in place that weren’t there before.

There is a community of families who reach out to each other and offer their experience, strength and hope. There are associations, blogs, Buddy Walks, Special Olympics and a host of families on the Internet. Don’t be afraid to reach out. These are the people who will offer you the hand of friendship and much-needed social connections.

I could go on and on, but I’ll leave it at this: When you’ve had this gift in your home, when you’ve been loved like no love you’ve ever known, when you’ve had your soul opened up, don’t forget to pay it forward. There are people who need your story. Help them to know your child. Help them see what you see.

The words I heard 25 years ago still echo in my thoughts today. They’re the words I now say to you: “Get ready for more love than you will know what to do with.”

Welcome to the first day of the best of your life."

Sherry Palmer is the “Author of Life With Charley: A Memoir of Down Syndrome Adoption.” Please visit Charley on Facebook at: Life With Charley – And Down Syndrome.

Click HERE to visit The Mighty, where we retrieved this letter from.

Why on earth would you do that?!...Q&A

Many people have asked us why we would choose to adopt another child, and especially one with significant special needs.  While this is something that has been on our hearts for longer than we can remember, we are continuously reminding ourselves that it is a totally new curve-ball that we have thrown at our family and friends.  We know that it is out of genuine concern that many people have questioned this decision.  We truly are grateful that our family and friends care so deeply about us, and want nothing but the best for us.  Walking into this adoption, we know that it is not a path most people would choose to take.  So we are going to answer some of the questions that we have been getting as we have shared the news of our little Rosey girl.  

1.  Why do you want to adopt another child, don't you have enough kids already?

The short answer to this question is yes, we do indeed have enough children already.  Our hearts and hands are quite full with the five children God has blessed us with.  And if adding more children to our family were the motivation behind this adoption, we would not be pursuing it.  The thing is, we had "enough kids" when we just had our first two biological kids.  We were in the throws of beginning to home school, we were farming full time, and we were completely strapped financially.  But when we received the call about our third child, we knew beyond any doubt that we were to say yes.  Similarly, when we found out we were pregnant with our fourth child--which came as quite a surprise, because we had been told by doctors that we would not be able to have any more children--our hearts and hands were extremely full.  We were starting a new business, struggling through the first year of a very challenging adoption, and again, financially strapped.  But that did not stop us from rejoicing at the news of our new little blessing.  Now, if we are being completely honest here, with the news of our fifth little one being on the way, it took us a moment to catch our breath, and to see the wonderful blessing that would be our fifth child.  Our hearts and hands were really full with the four kiddos we already had.   And again, if we are being honest, that precious little boy has kept our hearts and hands really really super full since before he was even born.  So yes, we have "enough" children.  But this is not about adding more children...

We firmly believe that all children are gifts from God, no matter how many or how few we might be entrusted with.  If God had only granted us one child, that would have been more than "enough".  But nowhere in the Bible does it say that once you have had one or two children, that's enough, you should then take every precaution to prevent any additional children from being created or added to your family.  God's word clearly states the opposite--that we are to be fruitful and multiply, that children are a blessing from the Lord, like arrows in a man's quiver, and blessed is the man whose quiver is full.  That is what God tells us about children.  We believe that God is sovereign over every single life that is created, that the creation of life rests solely in His hands, and the decision as to who will be entrusted with those lives is entirely His to make.  Resting upon that faith, we will say Yes whenever He asks us to.  Ultimately, God will decide when we have "enough" children.  (That's not to say that we don't have a few words to say about the matter 😅).

2. Why would you choose to adopt a child with Down Syndrome?

There truly is no rhyme or reason (as far as we can see) why Down Syndrome, specifically, has been placed on our hearts.  There has just been this deeply rooted "knowing" in the back of our minds, for many years, that we were called to children with Down Syndrome, in some form or fashion.  When we would see people in our community who have Down Syndrome, it would bring a smile to our faces for no particular reason.  We have been given the eyes to see individuals with Down Syndrome for the beautiful reflections of God that they truly are.  We are not blind to the challenges they, and their families, face.  We simply see more than the challenges, we also see the value and the blessings.  Many parents are faced with a pre-term diagnosis of DS in their unborn child.  They are faced with the agonizing decision of whether or not to terminate the pregnancy.  If they choose to proceed with the pregnancy, they too are inherently choosing DS.  God has called us to not only say yes, but to pursue with great tenacity this child with Down Syndrome; to go to the same lengths and costs for her, as we would for a "typical" or "healthy" child.  We can only hope that God would be glorified in that pursuit; that it would be a reflection of how He chose to pursue us as His adopted sons and daughters through Christ.  He chose us--even in our sinful, weak, spiritually handicapped state--He chose and pursued us to become His children.  He was willing to cross every border to get to us, including the border between His kingdom and Earth.  He was willing to sacrifice everything, truly everything, including His only Son, to save us from our depraved condition.  May God be glorified as we seek to extend a mere glimpse of that same love in our pursuit of sweet Rose.

3. What about your other children, won't Rose's needs take away from them or negatively impact them?

There is no denying that adopting Rose will be hard, and that her needs with be great.  There is no denying that those needs will be costly.  There is no denying that our other children will have to make sacrifices as we meet those needs.  And there is no denying that there will be the inevitable struggles for attention as we transition from a family of seven to a family of eight.  It will be hard.  For all of us.  And it will be hard not only for a season, but for a lifetime.  We brought those concerns before our other children, especially the three oldest, very early on in this process.  Before we had officially committed to adopting Rose, we talked with our kids about all that this decision would entail.  And as best we could, we tried to explain all the implications, including the possibility of Rose outliving us, her parents, and needing her siblings to take on her care.  Each one of them expressed the most profound willingness to do whatever it takes to bring Rose into our family, to follow God wherever He was leading us.  As parents, we have never been more proud of our kids, nor as humbled by their child-like faith.  That very first conversation we had with our three oldest kids about Rose is something that we will never forget.  If only we could all come as little children to the feet of Jesus!  We know that as a result of this decision, our children will have to make sacrifices, and they will have to endure hardships.  We trust that "these tribulations will lead to perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us." (Romans 5: 3-5)  That is our trust and faith in the goodness of God, and in the knowledge that He loves these children far more than we could ever imagine loving them ourselves.  He has a purpose in all that He does, which works for the good in all who believe.  And we know that adopting Rose will also bring great joy to our other children.  It's not all trials and tribulations.  They will experience a whole new kind of love, and there will undoubtedly be lots of smiles and laughter, snuggles and cuddles, playing and silliness!  In fact, Rose is not even here yet, and she has already brought us inexplicable joy, and that beautiful peace that surpasses all understanding.  

Thank you, Father, for entrusting our family with Your Rose.  

With Much Love,
The Hadsell Family  

Our dossier is on it way, now what do we do?

We have officially entered the "hurry up and wait" phase of the adoption process!  Our crazy, maddening, wild paper chase is over, and we mailed our dossier to the adoption agency last week. It is currently under review, and then will be sent to China within the next couple of weeks. (Edit: our dossier is being mailed to China TODAY! 6/8)  So now, we wait.  We wait and prepare for the next chapter in our family's story.  We finish our parent training requirements; we gather all the goodies for little Rose's suitcase; we prepare a place for her in our home; we pour as much love and attention into our five kiddos before their new sister arrives; and we fund raise...

That last part is undoubtedly our least favorite.  We live in a society where independence is valued above all else.  Survival of the fittest.  Each man for his own.  Asking for help, whether it be financial help or physical help, does not come easily.  It goes against everything that has been ingrained in our minds since we were children.  The problem is, that was not God's original plan for His people.  He created people for relationship, for interdependence--not independence.  He created us to depend upon Him for all of our needs, no matter how great or how small.  He created us to be a body--with each part contributing its specific job, working together in harmony to accomplish His purposes.  He did NOT create each of us--each part of the body--to be able to do it all alone, independent of the other parts.  The hand does not perform the duties of the ear, the nose does not perform the duties of the eye,  etc.  Do we view our hands as weak because they cannot hear?  Do we view our eyes as lazy, or incompetent because they cannot smell?  Of course not.  We know that every part of our body is interconnected to the rest, each depending on the others to function as a whole.  Why would it be any different for the various parts of the body of Christ, or the body of the human race at large?  We need each other, people.  We aren't supposed to do it all alone.  Above all, we need God.  He is the only One with all the answers, all the power, all the resources, all the honor, and all the glory.  He is the only One that can ever truly meet all of our needs.  His Word says to "Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow, or reap, or store away in barns, and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them.  Are you not much more valuable than they?"  (Matthew 6:26 NIV)  Is Rose not much more valuable than the birds?  While much of the world might say no she isn't, we say YES SHE IS!  We know that Rose is immeasurably valuable to our Heavenly Father, and we know that He will meet her needs.  

It is with that faith that we ask you to come along side us as we walk this road, in any capacity that God places upon your hearts. We are reaching out to the rest of the body to accomplish God's purposes for Rose.  We must fight against both pride and unworthiness to do this.  But we know it is not us who are worthy...it is Rose, and above all, it is our Father Who is worthy of all that we have.  For it is by His grace and mercy that any of us have been granted stewardship over His resources to begin with.

We have already been blessed by so many along the way.  Yesterday, when we went to print out our fundraising flyers, the owner of the store read our story and offered to donate all our flyers at no cost!  Thank you, Michael Brewster of Kwik Kopy in Brenham, TX.  We were blown away by your generosity! 

The owner of Honeysuckle Cafe and Bistro in Chappell Hill, TX offered to place flyers on her counter to help spread the word.  Within minutes, a customer came in and saw the flyers, and was able to recommend a treatment facility that a close friend of hers takes her son with Down Syndrome to.  A dear friend has offered to help spread the word to friends, family, and local churches.  Another awesome friend has offered to help fund raise as well.  And we received our first donation, $200!!  Our community rocks! 

We are so excited to see how God is going to finish this work that He has called us to--rather, how He is going to get us to the beginning of the work he has called us to!  Completing Rose's adoption is merely the dawning of this journey, the first of many mountains to be moved. 

With Much Love,
The Hadsell Family