Many people have asked us why we would choose to adopt another child, and especially one with significant special needs. While this is something that has been on our hearts for longer than we can remember, we are continuously reminding ourselves that it is a totally new curve-ball that we have thrown at our family and friends. We know that it is out of genuine concern that many people have questioned this decision. We truly are grateful that our family and friends care so deeply about us, and want nothing but the best for us. Walking into this adoption, we know that it is not a path most people would choose to take. So we are going to answer some of the questions that we have been getting as we have shared the news of our little Rosey girl.
1. Why do you want to adopt another child, don't you have enough kids already?
The short answer to this question is yes, we do indeed have enough children already. Our hearts and hands are quite full with the five children God has blessed us with. And if adding more children to our family were the motivation behind this adoption, we would not be pursuing it. The thing is, we had "enough kids" when we just had our first two biological kids. We were in the throws of beginning to home school, we were farming full time, and we were completely strapped financially. But when we received the call about our third child, we knew beyond any doubt that we were to say yes. Similarly, when we found out we were pregnant with our fourth child--which came as quite a surprise, because we had been told by doctors that we would not be able to have any more children--our hearts and hands were extremely full. We were starting a new business, struggling through the first year of a very challenging adoption, and again, financially strapped. But that did not stop us from rejoicing at the news of our new little blessing. Now, if we are being completely honest here, with the news of our fifth little one being on the way, it took us a moment to catch our breath, and to see the wonderful blessing that would be our fifth child. Our hearts and hands were really full with the four kiddos we already had. And again, if we are being honest, that precious little boy has kept our hearts and hands really really super full since before he was even born. So yes, we have "enough" children. But this is not about adding more children...
We firmly believe that all children are gifts from God, no matter how many or how few we might be entrusted with. If God had only granted us one child, that would have been more than "enough". But nowhere in the Bible does it say that once you have had one or two children, that's enough, you should then take every precaution to prevent any additional children from being created or added to your family. God's word clearly states the opposite--that we are to be fruitful and multiply, that children are a blessing from the Lord, like arrows in a man's quiver, and blessed is the man whose quiver is full. That is what God tells us about children. We believe that God is sovereign over every single life that is created, that the creation of life rests solely in His hands, and the decision as to who will be entrusted with those lives is entirely His to make. Resting upon that faith, we will say Yes whenever He asks us to. Ultimately, God will decide when we have "enough" children. (That's not to say that we don't have a few words to say about the matter 😅).
2. Why would you choose to adopt a child with Down Syndrome?
There truly is no rhyme or reason (as far as we can see) why Down Syndrome, specifically, has been placed on our hearts. There has just been this deeply rooted "knowing" in the back of our minds, for many years, that we were called to children with Down Syndrome, in some form or fashion. When we would see people in our community who have Down Syndrome, it would bring a smile to our faces for no particular reason. We have been given the eyes to see individuals with Down Syndrome for the beautiful reflections of God that they truly are. We are not blind to the challenges they, and their families, face. We simply see more than the challenges, we also see the value and the blessings. Many parents are faced with a pre-term diagnosis of DS in their unborn child. They are faced with the agonizing decision of whether or not to terminate the pregnancy. If they choose to proceed with the pregnancy, they too are inherently choosing DS. God has called us to not only say yes, but to pursue with great tenacity this child with Down Syndrome; to go to the same lengths and costs for her, as we would for a "typical" or "healthy" child. We can only hope that God would be glorified in that pursuit; that it would be a reflection of how He chose to pursue us as His adopted sons and daughters through Christ. He chose us--even in our sinful, weak, spiritually handicapped state--He chose and pursued us to become His children. He was willing to cross every border to get to us, including the border between His kingdom and Earth. He was willing to sacrifice everything, truly everything, including His only Son, to save us from our depraved condition. May God be glorified as we seek to extend a mere glimpse of that same love in our pursuit of sweet Rose.
3. What about your other children, won't Rose's needs take away from them or negatively impact them?
There is no denying that adopting Rose will be hard, and that her needs with be great. There is no denying that those needs will be costly. There is no denying that our other children will have to make sacrifices as we meet those needs. And there is no denying that there will be the inevitable struggles for attention as we transition from a family of seven to a family of eight. It will be hard. For all of us. And it will be hard not only for a season, but for a lifetime. We brought those concerns before our other children, especially the three oldest, very early on in this process. Before we had officially committed to adopting Rose, we talked with our kids about all that this decision would entail. And as best we could, we tried to explain all the implications, including the possibility of Rose outliving us, her parents, and needing her siblings to take on her care. Each one of them expressed the most profound willingness to do whatever it takes to bring Rose into our family, to follow God wherever He was leading us. As parents, we have never been more proud of our kids, nor as humbled by their child-like faith. That very first conversation we had with our three oldest kids about Rose is something that we will never forget. If only we could all come as little children to the feet of Jesus! We know that as a result of this decision, our children will have to make sacrifices, and they will have to endure hardships. We trust that "these tribulations will lead to perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us." (Romans 5: 3-5) That is our trust and faith in the goodness of God, and in the knowledge that He loves these children far more than we could ever imagine loving them ourselves. He has a purpose in all that He does, which works for the good in all who believe. And we know that adopting Rose will also bring great joy to our other children. It's not all trials and tribulations. They will experience a whole new kind of love, and there will undoubtedly be lots of smiles and laughter, snuggles and cuddles, playing and silliness! In fact, Rose is not even here yet, and she has already brought us inexplicable joy, and that beautiful peace that surpasses all understanding.
Thank you, Father, for entrusting our family with Your Rose.
With Much Love,
The Hadsell Family
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